To the girl who shames her body
Dear girl
Why do you hide in your long baggy clothes
You are drowning in them almost like no one can see you
Are you hiding
Dear girl
When you wake up in the morning and look in the mirror, what do you see that is so horrible
Why do you hate your body so much
You are beautiful
I'm sure you get that a lot from plenty of people
Your eyes are brown and I see the sparkle in them like a shooting star flying across the night sky
Your hands have been busy with writing down thoughts of you cursing yourself because you think you're vile and wretched
Dear girl
Stop hiding in your skin and bones
Stop masking your light
Why are you sinking in the sand of despair
Take my hand and let me help you out of that pit
Dear person
who keeps writing me
I shame my body because I see a distortion
My flesh my skin was taken from me my mind can't comprehend what happened when I was a little girl
People kept ripping me open and taking what they wanted even when I wanted to scream I couldn't I was terrified
So if you must know
There is no comfort here
only myself to claim
or
What's left of me
I was seven years old
Then I was 8 9 10 it keeps happening and it keeps going multiple people just demanding my body claiming it for their own just so they can get their own satisfaction
No voice no one to come to rescue me no one to explain what is going on no one shouting stop
No one telling me this is wrong
Then the taunts and words consume me
People who were supposed to be my safe havens tore my body apart in every way you can fathom
I was Stripped of What I should have experienced
Childhood should have been full of hopes dreams magical wonder an appetite of tea and crumpets and sugar plum dreams
Instead
People become weapons like knives slowly edging its way into my body
Piercing my soul my virtue my essence and
Piece by piece of me slowly dying on the inside
Thoughts become words become truth
Reminding me I am ugly
Reminding me my body is theirs for the taking
I am dismembered and un-portioned
And my life my spirit my soul is fading
Only a flicker remains
Ashes to dust shimmer on the ground from the disruption that has become me
I lay here on the cold concealed concrete in rest for I am extremely exhausted
I am dear girl I am the person that keeps writing to myself reminding me that she will lay with me on the concealed concrete and will wait with me
Because this is not my final resting place this is not yet over but just the beginning of a new chapter
I feel rested and
I have risen from the ashes
I am transformed reborn like a phoenix rising I am
I am the author and the girl who shamed her body
Who has risen from my torment my own dungeon of hell
I am the fighter the thriver who has risen like the phoenix from its resting place
I have awoken
Brand new and untouched
The spark the flicker the flame is now an everlasting consuming fire that burns from the inside bursting with laughter and wonder
I shine like a radiant star in the night sky the star that stands out more than any other
I am radiant
I am the girl who shames her body only it's now loved.