The girl who shamed her body

To the girl who shames her body

Dear girl

Why do you hide in your long baggy clothes

You are drowning in them almost like no one can see you

Are you hiding

Dear girl

When you wake up in the morning and look in the mirror, what do you see that is so horrible

Why do you hate your body so much

You are beautiful

I'm sure you get that a lot from plenty of people

Your eyes are brown and I see the sparkle in them like a shooting star flying across the night sky

Your hands have been busy with writing down thoughts of you cursing yourself because you think you're vile and wretched

Dear girl

Stop hiding in your skin and bones

Stop masking your light

Why are you sinking in the sand of despair

Take my hand and let me help you out of that pit

Dear person

who keeps writing me

I shame my body because I see a distortion

My flesh my skin was taken from me my mind can't comprehend what happened when I was a little girl

People kept ripping me open and taking what they wanted even when I wanted to scream I couldn't I was terrified

So if you must know

There is no comfort here

only myself to claim

or

What's left of me

I was seven years old

Then I was 8 9 10 it keeps happening and it keeps going multiple people just demanding my body claiming it for their own just so they can get their own satisfaction

No voice no one to come to rescue me no one to explain what is going on no one shouting stop

No one telling me this is wrong

Then the taunts and words consume me

People who were supposed to be my safe havens tore my body apart in every way you can fathom

I was Stripped of What I should have experienced

Childhood should have been full of hopes dreams magical wonder an appetite of tea and crumpets and sugar plum dreams

Instead

People become weapons like knives slowly edging its way into my body

Piercing my soul my virtue my essence and

Piece by piece of me slowly dying on the inside

Thoughts become words become truth

Reminding me I am ugly

Reminding me my body is theirs for the taking

I am dismembered and un-portioned

And my life my spirit my soul is fading

Only a flicker remains

Ashes to dust shimmer on the ground from the disruption that has become me

I lay here on the cold concealed concrete in rest for I am extremely exhausted

I am dear girl I am the person that keeps writing to myself reminding me that she will lay with me on the concealed concrete and will wait with me

Because this is not my final resting place this is not yet over but just the beginning of a new chapter

I feel rested and

I have risen from the ashes

I am transformed reborn like a phoenix rising I am

I am the author and the girl who shamed her body

Who has risen from my torment my own dungeon of hell

I am the fighter the thriver who has risen like the phoenix from its resting place

I have awoken

Brand new and untouched

The spark the flicker the flame is now an everlasting consuming fire that burns from the inside bursting with laughter and wonder

I shine like a radiant star in the night sky the star that stands out more than any other

I am radiant

I am the girl who shames her body only it's now loved.

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